You Can Work Alone—But You Won’t Win Alone

If your instinct is to solve every problem solo, that’s not autonomy; it’s an efficiency trap.

In tech, independence is often worn like armor. You can debug it, deploy it, document it, and do it all without needing help.

But over time, that same independence can become isolating. And in high-complexity, high-velocity environments, that will cap your impact.

According to our April 2025 report, 85 percent of tech professionals say relationship-building is very important. Yet, over a quarter of the respondents (30 percent) struggle to maintain strong professional connections and a surprising number (26 percent) prefer to work alone, even when collaboration would drive better results.

This isn’t about being anti-social. It’s about the quiet drift toward hyper-efficiency, where we optimize task completion instead of collaboration.

And trust, it turns out, is the real operating system for high-performance teams.

What Relationship-Building Really Means in Tech

Forget the lunch-and-learns and trust falls. In tech, relationship-building is less about bonding and more about bandwidth.

It means knowing who you can Slack at 4 p.m. when something breaks, and the spec is unclear.  It is the ability to disagree with a teammate without triggering a firestorm.  It is the ability to give feedback that actually lands because the relationship is strong enough to carry it.

Relationships are a force multiplier. The stronger they are, the faster things move, especially when things go sideways and when information needs to be shared.

What’s Getting in the Way?

According to the Skiilify report, here’s what’s breaking down the relationship-building engine:

1. Limited time (23 percent) – With full calendars and endless sprints, conversations shrink to transactions.
2. Uncertainty about how to build connections (15 percent) – Many tech professionals were never taught how to build working relationships, especially across functions, geographies, or hierarchies.
3. A strong preference for working alone (26 percent) – Independence is often a strength. But when left unchecked, it leads to silos, friction, and rework.
4. Difficulty maintaining relationships over time (30 percent) – Even when good connections are built, they don’t always stick, especially in remote teams.

Individually, these frictions seem small. Together, they create a culture where people collaborate only when absolutely necessary.  In doing so, they miss the compounding benefits of ongoing trust.

Great relationships might be found in a DevOps engineer who reaches out to product ahead of time to understand what’s changing, not just react once something breaks.  It might be a security lead who makes space to explain trade-offs instead of just listing risks.  It could also be a PM who checks in with a developer not to push a deadline but to ask what’s blocking their flow.

It’s about being available, consistent, and useful and recognizing that relationships are built one micro-interaction at a time.

How to Build Relationships (Without Faking It)

You don’t need to be extroverted (or even especially outgoing) to build strong relationships at work. You just need to shift from transactional to intentional.

Here’s how:

1. Lead with curiosity — Ask teammates, “What’s been unexpectedly tricky for you this week?” That opens the door for conversation that isn’t just status reporting.
2. Pair up on a quick, low-stakes task — Shared work (even for 30 minutes or so) builds rapport faster than any happy hour.
3. Name the shared win – When a collaboration goes well, say so. Call out the trust, not just the result. It reinforces what made the partnership effective.
4. Reach out when you don’t need anything – Check-in, offer help, or share appreciation when there’s no agenda. That’s how relationships get strong enough to hold weight when the pressure is on.

Why It Matters More Than Ever

As AI handles more technical execution, human value is migrating up the stack: To the gray zones. The judgment calls. The rapid shifts. The cross-functional decisions.

And none of that works without trust.

If people don’t feel connected, they don’t share risks, surface blockers, or collaborate effectively under pressure. Work slows down—even when everyone’s technically doing their job.

When relationships are weak you only hear from colleagues when they need something, so trust erodes.  Feedback feels personal because the relationship isn’t strong enough to carry it.  Collaboration is clunky, reactive, and full of second-guessing.  People start working around each other instead of with each other.

You need enough relational strength to move together when the work gets messy, which it always does.

The Takeaway

If you’re optimizing for output, don’t ignore relationships. They’re the leverage.

In complex, fast-paced tech environments, strong professional relationships are the foundation for speed, quality, and resilience.

Want to help your team strengthen relationship-building—and the other essential soft skills that fuel high performance in tech?  Connect with Skiilify today.

Click here to download the report: AI Won’t Replace You, But Lack of Soft Skills Might: What Every Tech Leader Needs to Know and watch the companion webinar here.